This has been a week of surprises. Our good friend Waiman (previously libelled as general wild oats sower and having a hyperactive libido) is finally getting hitched! All around Hong Kong, women are tearing off their clothes with grief: some from broken hearts but the majority, wallowing in regret that they have failed to entrap the most eligible economic migrant in town and thus secure UK residency through wedlock. Sorry girls but how do I say this … Mr PR has left the building! I could venture to suggest that husbands in the vicinity of his bachelor pad all breathed a sigh of relief on hearing the announcement, but that would be compounding a vicious rumour. No seriously, Emily … if you are reading this, I’m just yanking your chain … the only thing that’s untrue is the UK passport
An erudite comic once observed that marriage is like jumping into the river when all you want is a drink of water. Cynicism aside, I find it refreshing that folks these days still aspire to disprove the rising divorce statistics and enter into marriage for all the seemingly right reasons – love, honour, respect blah blah blah. While the absence of these ingredients is a sure recipe for petty squabbles and general displeasure at home, it is the lack of commitment and devotion to each other that causes a breakdown and makes a marriage irreconcilable. Just as we constantly need water to stay alive, a marriage is only sustainable and therefore successful when each party satisfies the thirst of the other because I am not persuaded that there is another rational explanation for why some marriages work and others do not. And if you accept that we are all born selfish, it would follow that no two individuals with differing Maslowian ambitions for self-actualisation would choose to come together to form a partnership, and promise commitment and self-less devotion to each other, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health … till death us do part. It is extremely hard work to stay married – and it doesn’t get any easier when the blobs come along and add parental responsibility to the list of duties that support the adage that All work and no play makes Pip a very unhapppy bunny.
So boys and girls, if your preference is for intermittently dipping into a number of different wells, then I suggest that tying the matrimonial knot ain’t your thang. However, if taking the plunge is your intention then be prepared for life’s hairiest, always unfair, blameful, intolerant but at the same time most rewarding experience ever!
N.B. Dr Pip’s virtual couch is currently vacant for general counselling sessions. Postcards, T-shirts and an assortment of bodily scars from ongoing cohabitation with Mrs Pip are available for sale/viewing for a nominal charge. Please send your PayPal micropayment to You’re Knackered at email@example.com